It's Not Personal

Often I get caught up in the drama of someone else's "issues" and feel frustration or anger rising in me.

Not long ago, someone I have to deal with on a regular basis just put me over the edge of my patience. I can't avoid that person because I have to work with them. And they have more authority than I do.
That particular day, their attitude was my last straw.

Fortunately, I have learned the lesson of keeping my mouth shut, hard as it is at those times.

I went off where I could be alone for a few minutes, and just laid my case before God. It went something like this: "Oh God! Did you see what that person did to me- and did you hear what they said???? Did you notice, by the way, that it was in front of other people and I was mortified. Fix their attitude please! I have to work with them! I wish I could retire, and then I could have peace in my life."(......mumble, whine, complain....)
Immediately, I "heard" a voice, more of a knowing, in my head that said clearly "It's not personal!"
What? Yes, it's personal to me! Ah,...a feeling I can't describe came over me. I heard a still, small voice that said "Be still, and know that I Am God." Psalms 46:10 A scripture I had memorized as a child came into my head at that moment and my frustration and anger melted.I asked God to change my attitude.
Another memory of a song written by a man from KPC, a church we belonged to in VA Beach came to mind. "Give me a soft heart,open eyes , an ear to hear what Your Spirit says." Lyle Helmick is a man who could write songs that pierced your heart, and showed you what was inside of you. I found his CD and listened over and over.
God continued my lesson in my head. "What other people do and are 'getting away' with is not your business. You are responsible for your heart's attitude; they are responsible for theirs."
Oh. My frustration deflated as a balloon does when the helium has gone out.
I see. Ok. Powerful lesson.

I began to say to myself over and over "it's not personal, it's not personal, it's not personal- until I began to believe it. I was amazed at how light my heart was, I felt joy again when I went to work, instead of dread. Because I love what I do, it's what I was created to do and I do it passionately and compassionately. It's who I am.
I found myself saying it out loud, and my director/ manager heard me. She stopped, and looked at me a moment, then grinned. "It's not personal" she repeated. I smiled back.
It has made a positive impact at my workplace on the morale of the whole unit. My manager wrote me a beautiful thank you note. It had touched her heart as well.
It wasn't me. It's what I allowed God to do in and through me. He is not finished making me into the woman of God He created me to be- right here, right now, in this place and time in history- until I die. I am willing. He is my Yaweh Shalom- God of peace.